Britney’s Going Broke
Britney Spears has got some serious hair issues.Britney Spears is getting audited.
According to a spokesman, the IRS is only trying to make sure Britney has not been a victim of theft. Last year, Britney had an estimated fortune of $190 million, but that number shrank by nearly $60 million in 2007. As a result, people are speculating that someone in Brit’s camp (can we say Sam Lufti??) might be licking icing off of her crazy cake.
Sources tell us Brit spent over $1 million on vacations alone last year. Be that as it may, it still leaves $59 million to explain, so where did it all go? I mean, we all know she went to rehab. And I’m sure In and Out Burger got their share as well—probably even Rite Aid and Walgreens, too! After all, I know those pregnancy tests aren’t cheap.
Well, let me tell you a few things Brit did not spend her money on that she very well should have:
- a stylist — bitch looks like hell all the time
- panties — girl, cover that skanky hoohah… Nobody needs to see your C scars, ever! Lord Jesus!
- proper legal counsel — because straightening your shit up actually requires real lawyers
- chauffeur — perfect for people who really, really can’t drive
- sterilization — because the world can’t handle any more of your effed up DNA
Kisses, babe, you know Phillacia loves you always, even though you’re not worthy.
